Umm…I think the laws of nature have gone topsy-turvy.

At a nearby dog park, I had a strange experience. A few days ago, I was minding my own business, marking my territory, when I was disturbed by a squawking bird. Thinking this was just a confused little airpuff, I let out some super beastly barks to let him know that he’d be lunch if he kept hassling me.

Today, the exact same bird was still by the park. Still squawking. This time, the little air rodent kept flying at me, calmly stalking me before descending and flying around my head, over and over. Totally undignified behavior for a bird, if you ask me! I decided he was done for. I am taking the air rodent out.

I got into hunting mode and stalked the little squawker. The difficulty is every time I got close to nabbing him, the pipsqueak flew off. I can jump like Michael Jordan on speed, but this bag of birdseed kept rebuffing my Spaniel skills! Its in my blood! My ancestors have hunted birds for centuries! Why can’t I nab this one foul excuse for a bird?

I thought about it long and hard. I eat pheasant…but it comes in a nugget shape…how do I get the bird to go from squawking to a feastable nugget? I must continue to ponder this and will not rest until justice is served!

A note from the editor: Cup of Dog managed to score an exclusive interview with the bird that hunted Louis, in attempt to find out the true story behind his actions.

The bird, named Henry, claimed his “grandpappy had been murdered by a Spaniel, ruining the family’s source of income and breaking his grandma’s heart.” Henry is seeking revenge.

Cup of Dog has no word on if the Henry plans to continue his attempts at retribution.

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Off the Leash with Louis!

 

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