Groomer Has It, Week V Recap

This week’s episode was the best one yet! Eight contestants remained at the start of the episode. Unfortunately, my two favorite contestants, Artist and Malissa were in the bottom two, but the episode was really funny.

The contestants are still shocked over Amber’s departure, and Malissa argues with Jonathan and Kathleen about last week’s challenge. Kathleen took Malissa’s dog away! Is that even legal??

This weeks episode of Groomer Has It opened with Nemo, the Yorkshire Terrier, delivering information regarding this week’s Quick Sniff Challenge in some lifeguard gear. Assigned to show up at the Los Angeles Fire Department, the contestants are unsure what to expect. It turns out, that this week’s Quick Sniff Challenge will be focused on medical emergencies and first aid for pets.

Denise Fleck, an expert in pet first aid and safety reviews treating cuts, stabilizing broken bones and doggie CPR. The Quick Sniff Challenge will involve each contestant administering care to a stunt dog (really, a stuffed animal). The winner is the contestant who properly tends to each emergency the quickest. Jasper won the challenge, ensuring a leg up on the episode’s main challenge. The best part was Malissa explaining that she knew the difference between stuffed dogs and real ones. She cracks me up!

This week’s guest judge was introduced, Donna Eisenberg, introduced as an expert on ‘this week’s breed’. The contestants speculate as to what kind of animal they might encounter. Malissa hopes for a monkey, while Artist speculates that it will be a raccoon or horse.

It turns out, this week’s challenge is to groom a long haired cat. Yikes! I can not imagine having to bathe or brush a feline! They are kinda hissy and scratchy…This is why I write Cup of Dog and not Cup of Cat. Those finicky felines are too much for me! I like a wagging tail and a slobbery tongue.

Jai and the guest judge introduce the contestants to their clients while emphasizing that the key to cat grooming success is keeping the kitty calm. They are also explicitly directed not to scissor the cat’s faces.

Jessica immediately seems to be having trouble. Her cat immensely dislikes being handled, so she keeps taking breaks to try and decrease her cat’s stress. With only two hours to groom, this probably wasn’t the best strategy!

Artist and his cat also had a poor relationship from the start. Dejected after some seriously deep scratches and bites, Artist’s cat gives him the final kiss off by peeing all over himself just as Artist is finishing up. The cat also crapped on his table. Damn cats.

Malissa, poor, poor Malissa, talks about how her “7th sense” with animals is the key to her success. I really feel bad for her. She has been portrayed as a flake on the show and everyone keeps insulting her skills. Its true, she doesn’t help matters by proclaiming that she does indeed know the difference between stuffed dogs and real ones, but I do think there is some real talent in there!

Malissa left her fans re-counting the number of human senses, while she took scissors to her cats face, clipping off the whiskers the contestants were explicitly told not to touch. (A cat’s whiskers are the key to its sense of touch. By removing them, Malissa inadvertently removed one of the cats senses. Whoops.)

At judging, uber-bitchy judge Xavier leads off by criticizing Jorge’s cat for being dirty. Kathleen is hailed by the judges for her abilities to cater to the cat, achieving success by knowing how her cat thinks. Whatever, she isn’t any fun to watch! I say get rid of Kathleen! Its TV, I want entertainment! Will is praised for successfully de-matting the most knotted of the cats with minimal discomfort to the kitty. Bo-ring!

Ultimately, Artist and Malissa are in the bottom two. Artist is criticized for his lack of confidence. Xavier, the judge I really want to see beat up, reiterates the importance of confidence to Artist and he concedes that the cat got the better of him and promises to come back with his usual sassy confidence.

Malissa gets called out for scissoring her cat’s face. She tried to backtrack and say she didn’t do it, unfortunately for my favorite groomer, its all on video. Sent home, Malissa begins to cry and leaves the stage before judging could finish. In her farewell video, she does retract her seventh sense comments, realizing that we, humans, have five senses…so she probably was referring to a sixth sense! She does work with animals, its not like she needs to know how many senses people have to groom a dog! She is clear about the fact that she thinks she didn’t deserve to go home. I agree! Bring back Malissa!

Oh, yeah, Kathleen won, but I hate her so I have nothing else to say about that!

Stay tuned for next week. Maybe next week someone will finally take the scissors to Xavier! The competition is heating up with seven contestants remaining. I am rooting for Artist now that Malissa is out. Go Artist!

If you missed this or any other episode, catch a repeat or stream it on your computer at Groomer Has It on www.animalplanet.com.

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